06/26/2005: Toddler speak: "No" means no, "No" means yes, and "Yes" is never spoken (unless chocolate is involved).
05/13/2005: It's good to finally see that I'm not the only one in the vast undulating throng of internet peoples willing to call out white chocolate for the fraud that it is! Dark Chocolate Forever! Cocoa is King!
02/25/2005: Anytime you walk into a store to buy something that costs more that $19.99, you really ought to automatically assume you know more about that item than anyone that actually works in the store. Don't believe me? Do some TV research and then walk into Best Buy. I can count on one hand the number of times I haven't ended up telling the floor people stuff they didn't know (but should have).
02/23/2005: Did you know that just ONE Chili Cheese Burrito from Taco Bell is 45% of your USDA recommended allowance of saturated fat? Yes, the Chili Cheese Burrito...the most sublime of all Taco Bell food-like things....45%. At this point in my life, I really should be more thankful that my blood isn't the consistency of cottage cheese.
02/23/2005: Did you know that just ONE Chili Cheese Burrito from Taco Bell is 45% of you USDA recommended allowance of saturated fat? Yes, Chili Cheese Burrito...the most sublime of all Taco Bell foods....45%. At this point in my life, I really should be more thankful that my blood isn't the consistency of cottage cheese.
02/18/2005: Does anyone else wonder if there are other "preparations" besides the "H" version? I mean, naming your hemerroid cream with nothing but an "h"? With a naming system like that, you almost have to figure that the people behind it had something grander in mind. I want to know what happened to the other recipes. Where's the Preparation S (for scabs), the Preparation P (pimples), or the Preperation OS (oozing sores)?
02/15/2005: I think that there are very few things to be found at the office as pleasing as when you walk into the men's room with your rolled up newspaper or magazine, ready to take care of a little business, and find yourself alone. Yes, alone; all the stalls empty, all the urinals free. Lock the door, friend, lock the door. Have a seat and take your time. Read that whole damned newspaper, if you want. When you've you got young children and a wife at home, and you work in an office building with a thousand other people, this is a close to peace and serenity as you're going to get. Just don't think about the sand papering you're gonna get when you're finished.
02/01/2005: I've made another enhancement around here by popular request. A comments section is now available with every post. Feel like saying something out loud so all the other loyal puddintopia readers can see it? Comment away, you crazy fool! Oh, and when I say, "popular request", I mean that I wanted to do it. Nobody else really gives a damn.
01/26/2005: I had a new post all but written this afternoon, but then something horrible happened and I lost it and now I'm just pissed off. So I'll have to re-write it, but it won't be nearly as glorious or amusing as it would have been the first time. Oh, disappointment, invariable companion, keep me warm in my grief. Life is a harsh, cruel master. Anyway, on a completely different topic, I did some work on the place, didya notice? Like the look? I am quite pleased, myself, but you know I want to know what you think.
01/23/2005: Do you ever wonder why some women where thongs? You know, the ones that somehow make it apparent that they're wearing a thong. I had always assumed the the only real reason to deal with the torture of butt floss was to avoid noticeable panty line (not that most guys dislike VPL). But if you're going to find some way to make it noticeable anyway, well, then, why bother with the pain? Not that I don't appreciate knowing, of course. I guess I answered my own question there.
12/08/2004: You know it's going to be an excrutiating, interminably long day at the office when you find yourself at the coffee station getting that first cup of java, tea, cocoa, what-have-you, and you realize you just subconsciously looked at the clock on the wall hoping that maybe time was warping today and it suddenly 4:45. Nothing says disappointment like the realization that you still have 8 hours of day to kill.
12/01/2004: There are two kinds of people in the world: those who like to use the toilet in the handicapped stall and those that have short legs. I, personally, don't like it when my feet dangle on the crapper. Sometimes you need the extra leverage.
11/29/2004: Although many of you will likely want to refer me to a webpage explaining the basics of human reproduction, I'd like to announce that the Puddinette and I are again excited to be expecting. An old friend of mine, upon hearing the news, offered congratulations and then commented that she could not believe I was going to have three children. Well, I agree. I can't believe I'm going to have three kids either. The fact that I have even one still baffles me from time to time. I mean, ME. Seems like just yesterday I was CERTAINLY destined for a lifetime of bachelorhood and beer nights. Now I'm mini-van guy. It sneaks up on you, I guess. Soon I'll be like the PTA fundraiser chairman or something. Yikes!
11/16/2004: Today is the PuddinPop's 2nd birthday. It's hard to believe that 2 years ago I was without a job and incredibly happy to have our first little mouth to feed. Nowadays from that same mouth I hear such gems as, "No, Daddy, don't want dinner. Need CAAAAAKE." and "Don't Like Keegan!!!" Ah, they grow up so fast. Happy Birthday, Andrew, your Mommy and Daddy love you, even when you're a pain in the koukis.
11/09/2004: So I order a static IP address, and then I instruct my DNS provider to assign puddintopia.com to my address and I tell the world that puddintopia.com is open for business. And then my provider decides that I didn't order a static address and everything changes and puddintopia.com goes down for a week. Arrgggh! It is just me, or does the phone company not know it's IP from a hole in the ground?
10/27/2004: Does anyone else think that it's a bit toooo convenient that the Bengals were victorious on Monday Night Football the same week that the Red Sox have a 3-0 World Series lead and there's a full lunar eclipse that could turn the moon blood red? Myself, I'm having vision of Four Horsemen and an apocolyptic rain of fire.
10/24/2004: Fear is the feeling deep in your stomach when you reach for a piece of toilet paper in the restroom at the office and think to yourself Wait...isn't this supposed to be two-ply paper? And they you realize with a shock that it is two-ply paper, just two incredibly thin, rough plys. And then you grimace and commence sandpapering your back end.
05/13/2005: It's good to finally see that I'm not the only one in the vast undulating throng of internet peoples willing to call out white chocolate for the fraud that it is! Dark Chocolate Forever! Cocoa is King!
02/25/2005: Anytime you walk into a store to buy something that costs more that $19.99, you really ought to automatically assume you know more about that item than anyone that actually works in the store. Don't believe me? Do some TV research and then walk into Best Buy. I can count on one hand the number of times I haven't ended up telling the floor people stuff they didn't know (but should have).
02/23/2005: Did you know that just ONE Chili Cheese Burrito from Taco Bell is 45% of your USDA recommended allowance of saturated fat? Yes, the Chili Cheese Burrito...the most sublime of all Taco Bell food-like things....45%. At this point in my life, I really should be more thankful that my blood isn't the consistency of cottage cheese.
02/23/2005: Did you know that just ONE Chili Cheese Burrito from Taco Bell is 45% of you USDA recommended allowance of saturated fat? Yes, Chili Cheese Burrito...the most sublime of all Taco Bell foods....45%. At this point in my life, I really should be more thankful that my blood isn't the consistency of cottage cheese.
02/18/2005: Does anyone else wonder if there are other "preparations" besides the "H" version? I mean, naming your hemerroid cream with nothing but an "h"? With a naming system like that, you almost have to figure that the people behind it had something grander in mind. I want to know what happened to the other recipes. Where's the Preparation S (for scabs), the Preparation P (pimples), or the Preperation OS (oozing sores)?
02/15/2005: I think that there are very few things to be found at the office as pleasing as when you walk into the men's room with your rolled up newspaper or magazine, ready to take care of a little business, and find yourself alone. Yes, alone; all the stalls empty, all the urinals free. Lock the door, friend, lock the door. Have a seat and take your time. Read that whole damned newspaper, if you want. When you've you got young children and a wife at home, and you work in an office building with a thousand other people, this is a close to peace and serenity as you're going to get. Just don't think about the sand papering you're gonna get when you're finished.
02/01/2005: I've made another enhancement around here by popular request. A comments section is now available with every post. Feel like saying something out loud so all the other loyal puddintopia readers can see it? Comment away, you crazy fool! Oh, and when I say, "popular request", I mean that I wanted to do it. Nobody else really gives a damn.
01/26/2005: I had a new post all but written this afternoon, but then something horrible happened and I lost it and now I'm just pissed off. So I'll have to re-write it, but it won't be nearly as glorious or amusing as it would have been the first time. Oh, disappointment, invariable companion, keep me warm in my grief. Life is a harsh, cruel master. Anyway, on a completely different topic, I did some work on the place, didya notice? Like the look? I am quite pleased, myself, but you know I want to know what you think.
01/23/2005: Do you ever wonder why some women where thongs? You know, the ones that somehow make it apparent that they're wearing a thong. I had always assumed the the only real reason to deal with the torture of butt floss was to avoid noticeable panty line (not that most guys dislike VPL). But if you're going to find some way to make it noticeable anyway, well, then, why bother with the pain? Not that I don't appreciate knowing, of course. I guess I answered my own question there.
12/08/2004: You know it's going to be an excrutiating, interminably long day at the office when you find yourself at the coffee station getting that first cup of java, tea, cocoa, what-have-you, and you realize you just subconsciously looked at the clock on the wall hoping that maybe time was warping today and it suddenly 4:45. Nothing says disappointment like the realization that you still have 8 hours of day to kill.
12/01/2004: There are two kinds of people in the world: those who like to use the toilet in the handicapped stall and those that have short legs. I, personally, don't like it when my feet dangle on the crapper. Sometimes you need the extra leverage.
11/29/2004: Although many of you will likely want to refer me to a webpage explaining the basics of human reproduction, I'd like to announce that the Puddinette and I are again excited to be expecting. An old friend of mine, upon hearing the news, offered congratulations and then commented that she could not believe I was going to have three children. Well, I agree. I can't believe I'm going to have three kids either. The fact that I have even one still baffles me from time to time. I mean, ME. Seems like just yesterday I was CERTAINLY destined for a lifetime of bachelorhood and beer nights. Now I'm mini-van guy. It sneaks up on you, I guess. Soon I'll be like the PTA fundraiser chairman or something. Yikes!
11/16/2004: Today is the PuddinPop's 2nd birthday. It's hard to believe that 2 years ago I was without a job and incredibly happy to have our first little mouth to feed. Nowadays from that same mouth I hear such gems as, "No, Daddy, don't want dinner. Need CAAAAAKE." and "Don't Like Keegan!!!" Ah, they grow up so fast. Happy Birthday, Andrew, your Mommy and Daddy love you, even when you're a pain in the koukis.
11/09/2004: So I order a static IP address, and then I instruct my DNS provider to assign puddintopia.com to my address and I tell the world that puddintopia.com is open for business. And then my provider decides that I didn't order a static address and everything changes and puddintopia.com goes down for a week. Arrgggh! It is just me, or does the phone company not know it's IP from a hole in the ground?
10/27/2004: Does anyone else think that it's a bit toooo convenient that the Bengals were victorious on Monday Night Football the same week that the Red Sox have a 3-0 World Series lead and there's a full lunar eclipse that could turn the moon blood red? Myself, I'm having vision of Four Horsemen and an apocolyptic rain of fire.
10/24/2004: Fear is the feeling deep in your stomach when you reach for a piece of toilet paper in the restroom at the office and think to yourself Wait...isn't this supposed to be two-ply paper? And they you realize with a shock that it is two-ply paper, just two incredibly thin, rough plys. And then you grimace and commence sandpapering your back end.